A recent study found that teens spend, on average, over 5 hours a day on their mobile devices. With a little support at home, though, teens can learn to engage with technology in healthier ways that will set them up for college and beyond.
Unregulated tech use can easily crowd out sleep, homework, and in-person time.
In fact, a lot of tech that teens interact with is actually designed to be so addictive that it crowds out other activities. (source)
To make matters even harder for teens, the adolescent brain is still wiring key systems for planning and self control. All this means that most teens will need some outside help regulating tech use.
Likes and comments can feel like quick positive feedback, but they can also train the brain to think in terms of comparisons to others, which is a net-negative. Help your teen notice how each app affects mood and focus. Co-create a plan that keeps the good parts, like connection and creativity, while reducing the parts that drain joy and energy.
Model what you want to see. Keep phones away during dinner, choose a wind-down time, and use tech for learning, not just scrolling. A tech positive home focuses on purposeful tech use: coding practice, language learning, art projects, etc.
Guidelines vary, but the key points are to protect sleep, movement, schoolwork, and time for connecting with others (in person). Watch for signs that limits need tightening, such as late night use, slipping grades, or skipped commitments.
Adjust rules as your teen grows. Older teens can earn more flexibility when they show consistent follow through.
Collaborative rules reduce pushback. Ask your teen to propose a weekday and weekend plan for hours, app types, and locations. Write a simple agreement, sign it together, and post it where it is easy to see. When rules are broken, return to the agreement and reset the plan.
There are many options now for app timers and focus modes that can support healthy tech use. Pair these tools with talks about respect and safety online.
Create tech free zones such as bathrooms (an important one for teen safety), bedrooms at night, and the dinner table. Set shared charging spots. Keep a family schedule that names homework hours, outside time, and a wind-down window before bed. When routines are clear and everyone knows what to expect, conflicts around tech decrease.
Notice the difference between passive and active tech use. Passive use might be endless TikTok scrolling or Netflix auto play. Active tech use is creating, coding, writing, or video editing.
Heavy tech use can have negative effects on mental health and contribute to depression and anxiety. To offset this, follow tech time with offline activities that help your teen feel grounded. (Have your teen help generate a list of these activities and add them to the calendar like anchors.)
Stay steady. If your teen breaks a rule, pause, reflect, and return to the agreement. Name what happened, agree on a short consequence that fits, then reset. Consistency builds credibility.
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FAQs
1) How many hours of screen time is reasonable for a teen
Start with a weekday limit that fits homework and sleep, such as one to two hours for entertainment after tasks are done. Use a longer window on weekends. Review usage together weekly and adjust.
2) Should phones stay out of bedrooms at night
Yes. Phones in bedrooms make it harder to protect sleep and circadian rhythm. Set a household charging spot and a consistent wind down time.
3) What is the best way to handle social media during homework
Use focus modes or app limits during study blocks. Keep the phone in another room. Work in short sets with breaks so teens can check messages on a schedule.
4) How do we respond when our teen breaks the tech agreement
Return to the written agreement. Name what happened, apply a short and related consequence, then reset the plan. Keep your tone calm and matter of fact.
5) How can we keep tech positive instead of only about limits
Balance rules with purpose. Encourage creative use such as music production, coding, or design. Celebrate small wins like finishing an edit or learning a new skill.
6) What if siblings have different rules
Different ages and needs call for different plans. Explain the reasons, give each child clear choices, and set goals they can earn. Fair does not always mean the same.
[1] Lifeworks Method (lifeworks.life)
[2] American Academy of Pediatrics, Media Use in School Aged Children and Adolescents (aap.org)
[3] Common Sense Media, The Common Sense Census on Media Use by Tweens and Teens (commonsensemedia.org)
[4] Pew Research Center, Teens, Social Media, and Technology Trends (pewresearch.org)
[5] American Psychological Association, Stress and Technology Use in Adolescents (apa.org)
[6] Sleep Foundation, Teens and Sleep, Light Exposure and Devices (sleepfoundation.org)
[7] UNICEF, Digital Literacy and Online Safety Guidance for Families (unicef.org)
